MATIAS TAUTIMEZ
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Attack of the Earthlings Review

3/5/2018

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My newest review is finally up! Check it out at dlh.net (Here's the link...)

So, as I mentioned before, I review​ed Junkfish's Attack of the Earthlings​. 
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Now, usually I like to talk about the story, being that this is a blog dedicated to writing, but... I mean... the story is kinda secondary in this game. There is one, don't get me wrong, and it's okay, but it's not why you're playing. You play Final Fantasy or Zelda  for a story. You play this because it's dumb and it's fun. 

The story, such as it is, is that you are the alien. Yes, you get to be the monster in this tactical, turn-based strategy game. The evil Galactoil has landed their giant drilling tower on your planet to suck it dry of it's resources and it's your job to infiltrate it, dine on all the inhabitants, and make the evil heads of this corrupted company pay for what they've done.
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You command the Matriarch, a unit capable of dealing good damage, eating your prey, and then spitting out new units to supplement your numbers. Stealth is your friend, so eating the bodies of your victims not only keeps other units from finding you, but helps you build biomass to spawn grunts, your basic unit, and then upgrade those grunts.
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Depending on your play style and the enemies your facing, you'll want to try out different units. Disrupters (upper right) are ranged units, perfect for kamikaze units that explode on death or radar units that have a field of focus that surrounds them from all angles. The Goliath (lower right) is your armored unit, perfect for those who like a straight fight. You can tighten your defenses, let your enemies swarm you, then unleash a smash attack to damage them all at once. My personal favorite, however, is the Stalker (bottom left) who can sneak through grates, back stab, and set traps. Yeah. I like stealth.
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The story may be a little light, but the humor is top notch. It feels a lot like Portal or Team Fortress style humor. It never takes itself seriously and uses humor as it's way of directing you through the game.

Not all of the game is perfect, though. While I love being able to save my game whenever (and that the autosaves are actually descriptive!) it's way too easy to abuse this and take all challenge out of the game. The AI never deviates from it's pre-programmed paths, so once you know the puzzle, it's just a matter of moving to the right places. Furthermore, it's actually a fairly short game. After finishing it, I really wish I could've had just another two or three more levels. Still, the fact that I wanted to keep playing is a testament to how good it is.
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The game is fun, hilarious, and forgiving (almost to a fault.) It's fun to figure out the optimum path to victory and watch your enemies fall before you. It does a good job of making you feel like the titular creature from that Ridley Scott series (what was it called?) while at the same time, making you laugh out loud. If I can laugh and feel like a ruthless killing machine at the same time, I call that a good game.

Don't Forget to Kill All Humans.
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    Matias Tautimez

    Keep your eyes open for my debut novel, The Paladin.

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