Those who know me won't be surprised to hear that above all things, I fear mundanity. I fear irrelevance. I believe that people have one life and that they should squeeze everything they can from that life. This is largely what led me to do crazy things in my life, like becoming a pro wrestler, living in the Netherlands for half a year, and, now, focusing my entire being on getting a novel published.
Both my parents, before they passed, were extremely supportive of my work. My mother much more so, as she actually devoured any piece of writing I put in front of her, but my father had his moments, too. He didn't necessarily understand my writing, but, upon learning that I was utilizing a lot of Catholic dogma in my story, he actually gave me his Communion book. It was very touching.
Back on the subject of mundanity, I have to talk about what happened to my parents in their last days. I love them. Please understand that. Both had dreams and motivations, but circumstances forced them into positions that robbed them of the means to pursue those dreams. My mother was a wanderer. Before having a family, she drifted all around the country. After, she was shackled to one place... or, well, a few places. She moved whenever possible, but it was nothing like what she wanted. She spent her last days as an office manager, locked in a tiny town she hated, dreaming of being free. I had dreams of getting a job good enough to support her, to buy her an RV and let her go wherever. That never happened.
With my father, it was photography. In his day, he was booked for weddings and events all over the place. Then he had to sell his cameras. While I was doing well financially in Vegas, I started putting things together to get him a photo set. I had a DSLR, a photoprinter, free editing software... He actually started to perk up and seem hopeful. Then he passed on.
Yeah, this isn't the most upbeat blog post, but I hope this helps you understand that I don't want to be caught. I don't want to be inches away from my dream and be forced to turn away. This novel is my dream and I'm betting everything on it, because if I fail, at least I went for it. I couldn't live with myself if I gave up without a fight.
Don't Forget to be Awesome
Keep your eyes open for my debut novel, The Paladin.