I am ready to be published. Emotionally. Mentally. I am ready for it to be a thing. Unfortunately, this manuscript continues to fight me on this. As you may have noticed yesterday, I thought I was done with all my rewrites for the time being, but I stumbled into something new.
Without giving too much plot away, I ended up cutting out a chapter or so worth or material and then had to edit to make the following chapter hook up properly with the new material I rewrote. As I was doing it I stumbled across a couple innocuous lines. All I really had to do with delete them. Just highlight and delete. Zip. Gone. Over. But I realized that those lines were referencing a character that Jonathan was no longer going to interact with since I deleted that material. There was a tiny, little hint of plot in a line that referenced that character. I looked at it for a minute or two. I could've just hit delete. I'd be that much further to querying an agent and, thus, being published if I'd just hit delete and moved on. But no.
No, instead I thought "Actually, it'd make more sense if this character Jonathan's dealing with now introduces that element of the story. But... if they do that, they'll logically also do this. And then that'll change a plot point later. Well, it's a small plot point, how much harm could it do?"
Well, I'm writing a blog entry about it, aren't I? Now, I know I'm being a little melodramatic, what writer isn't? But there still is some frustration when you just want to be done. I love this story, though. I love it. And I want you all to love it. So when I see that the plot could be better, that a chapter could flow smoother, that I can make something make more sense, I can't help it. I have to do it. I have to fix it. And so I trudge ever forward into the sand of time, dragging behind me the stories yet to be written and pushing before me the story I'm currently engaged in. And every page makes the load that much heavier. I only hope that every page is worth it in the end to my readers, because I certainly think they are.
Be Excellent To Each Other.
Keep your eyes open for my debut novel, The Paladin.