Sisyphus

Today is one of those days where I feel like a terrible writer, or at the very least, a terrible editor. I have some really great Beta Readers, and so far, none of them has really been bothered by the length of The Paladin. I'm in the middle of trying to cut down my word count, but every suggestion I get from my betas is resulting in adding words.

I cut out the entirety of chapter seven from my manuscript. I was thrilled. I was able to make a decent dent and anything important from that chapter was reworked in other places. Then questions about certain aspects were asked and suggestions were made that they, the betas, would like to see more to understand things better. This resulted in undoing a chunk of that chunk. Now, I'm looking at another suggestion. It's a good suggestion. Early on, I just didn't give Jonathan enough reactions, I didn't allow the reader to really see into his character in specific situations. I really should fix that, but that word count...

Gah! It's like rolling Sisyphus' boulder up that hill, over and over again! I've managed to identify a few places I might be able to remove large chunks, but I'm going to have to really rework the narrative to convey that information somewhere else.

So what do I do? I know the word count shouldn't be a hindrance, like manacles chaining me down, but at the same time, I know I can't just write and write without any consideration to my word count whatsoever. Plus... it's a little depressing to realize I'm an overwriter AND there are still things I didn't manage to convey properly.

I know in a week I'll be fine and realize my mistakes and clean up everything, but today, I'm just feeling like every writer does: like I'm the absolute worst. I know it's not true (I've visited Wattpad) but still, it does sting to realize how little of my errors I can notice the first go 'round.

​Be Excellent to Each Other.