MATIAS TAUTIMEZ
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Won't You Guide My Blog Tonight?

12/20/2018

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Okay, I knew this moment would come. If I'm honestly reviewing all my favorite holiday classics and sharing them with you, there's one I have to touch on and, apparently, it's become a hot button issue this year. This is the time we live in. I'm sure you've deduced that I'm talking about the Rankin/ Bass Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. 

Now, let it be known, I'm very aware as an adult that there's something wrong with the story, especially if you sum it up. It's the story of an outcast that everyone hated until he was useful. He's verbally abused by his peers, by his family, and it's been a while, but I'm pretty sure Santa wasn't innocent in the whole affair. At the very least, he had to be aware of it and was, therefore, complacent in the whole thing.

But let's look past that. Lots of good stories deal with being an outcast. With people being jerks. I mean, that's kind of life. Is it messed up what happened to Rudolph? Yes. But it's messed up that the wicked neighbor lady was going to have Toto put down. Wait... that's an old one, too. I'm sensing a pattern here.

Okay, point is, terrible stuff happens, but all in all, I don't think it sends a bad message. I think it's pretty realistic. People (or reindeer as the case may be) can be complete jerks. The world is unfair. And often times, yes, you're only valued when you have something to contribute. But all of that, all the stuff that happens to Rudolph is nothing. You want to know what the real tragedy of this beloved Christmas classic is? The elves straight up murder a toy.
The video should start at 57 seconds in. What you're seeing is an elf taking out a doll, giving it an umbrella, then tossing it over. Then repeating this for the elephant. But the bird. If you don't remember the movie or haven't seen it, that's "the bird that doesn't fly." That's why he's a misfit toy. He swims! That elf straight up tosses him out and waves goodbye. Cold blooded. That is what we should be talking about.

​DFTBA
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    Matias Tautimez

    Keep your eyes open for my debut novel, The Paladin.

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