Well, I finished up another game review for GeekNifty and filmed another episode for C+ Studios' podcast. Tomorrow I have wrestling practice with my new students. Between now and then I think I might be able to sneak a little writing in.
It's funny, I remember in high school I would crank out hundreds of pages without any effort. Of course my work was pure drivel back then, but still, even with similar responsibilities (wrestling, theater, etc) I still managed to knock out page after page.
I won't deny that I'm far prouder of the work I put out now. People above the age of 16 can actually read and enjoy it, so there's always that. But I do miss being able to just plunk down at my screen and knock out a few dozen pages without trying. I wonder what changed about my writing? Have I become more refined and just can't stand to put out bad stuff? Or maybe I've lost the confidence that youth once gave me. Am I totally certain that the stuff back then was bad? Or that the stuff now is good?
Oh god, existential writer crisis! Quick! Think of something distracting. Huh... I wonder how long it'll take before people are shipping my two lead male characters. Okay. Distracted. Let's try to get back on topic.
I guess the point of all this aimless rambling is that everyone writes differently, even the same person from time to time. My writing style has changed a lot since I was a kid. The Paladin certainly isn't The Adventures of Super Gecko. It has heart. It took time and effort. I cried and lost sleep over it. And in the end, I'm so proud of what I've written. If it takes me ten more years to put out the next one, I guess that's fine so long as I'm happy with what I've made. I don't need to judge myself based on others' writing speeds or even my own from youth. This is how I write. And I like what I've written. And you know what? I think you'll like it, too. I promise it's for more cohesive than this little ramble.
Keep your eyes open for my debut novel, The Paladin.